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Really it never began…

Now, let me first start out by saying that yes, I am happily married.  My husband is also happily married, to my knowledge, and we have a wonderful life together.  This article is not to say otherwise, but to make it clear that marriage is not all easy and happy-go-lucky all the time.  In fact there are some tough times, but when you come out of those times you find you are even more happy that you and your spouse have each other.

With so many people and celebrities out there taking advantage of the idea of marriage as something that is self-pleasing, it make me value my marriage that much more.  There are people who decide the moment marriage is not fun for them or requires some type of effort that they should just call it quits and go on and do the next best thing.  This is sad, and it will never lead to any type of fulfillment.

As for my beautiful mess of a marriage, we got married in our mid to late twenties.  Our honeymoon immediately followed and on the whole trip my husband was sick.  So we did not get much of a honeymoon.  After we returned and moved in together it was supposedly “the honeymoon phase.”  Um, I think we missed that phase and skipped ahead.  We argued, a lot, mainly because we had not lived together and we were both just plain weird to one another.  Weird, as in he would leave his socks in bizarre places and I would put my dishes beside the sink, not in it.  Hey, we all have our quirks.  We worked through this weirdness though.  Did you catch that word “work?”  Yes, we had to work.

Then we bought our first house.  After moving in we were so excited and all in love, (a glimpse of that “honeymoon phase” perhaps?) but the water started running out of our well daily.  This made a lot of trouble for us as we were both in bad moods.  I think at one point we went an entire week without saying two words to each other.

The thing is in marriage it is okay to argue.  It is definitely okay to be weird and different.  It is also okay to be stubborn, but the fact of the matter is that you eventually have to come down off of your high horse and apologize.  Work is required and sometimes you might not get that honeymoon, but the love that you have for one another for the remainder of your life is far more better than a short time of supposed wedded bliss.  If I added up all the times my husband and I were in wedded bliss it would be a lot more than those who had their “honeymoon phases.”

Just know that marriage is far more than just happiness all the time.  It is you on a journey with your spouse for the rest of your life.  It takes work and effort, but it is more than worth it.